WOW!!  You know it's been a long time since you've last updated when you can't remember how to access the "new entry" page.  WARNING: Before you read on, if you don't like sappy stuff you should just skip this posting.  Anyway I was at work and heard this song on the radio.  I hadn't heard it for quite a while and started listening to the lyrics.   And well, to make things nice and short, they describe what i feel for my TOR pretty well.  I love you sweetheart.

**Everyone else?  This is your cue to gag**

DESTINY

What if I never knew
What if I never found you
I'd never have this feeling in my heart
How did this come to be
I don't know how you found me

But from the moment I saw you
Deep inside my heart I knew

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as I can see
You were always meant to be my destiny

I wanted someone like you
Someone that I could hold on to
And give my love until the end of time
But forever was just a word
Something I'd only heard about

But now you're always there for me
When you say forever I believe

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as I can see
You were always meant to be my destiny

Maybe all we need is just a little faith
'Cause baby I believe that love will find the way

Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as I far as I can see
From now until eternity
You were always meant to be my destiny

She walked into my life
 on an evening in the spring
How was I to ever know
 that meeting’d change everything
Occasionally, we would meet
 and exchange a quick hello
During this time God planted my heart
 and it began to grow
But she didn’t return my feelings
 and still I was ok
To sit and watch and bide my time
 and wait for that special day
She was compassionate and warm
 with a heart of pure gold
And I dreamed of the time when
 together we’d grow old
Using beauty, wit and charm
 she easily captured my heart
And through it all, I knew deep down
 God would do His part
And the day finally came which
 I had waited so long for
She is everything that I’ve ever wanted
 she’s all of that and more

hahaha!! i had to post this little experience i had today:

for those of you who heard me share at the LIGHT formal dinner, you might remember the opening story.  for those of you who weren't there i just shared about how i needed to trust God and that He is always teaching me that lesson through what happens to me at school. 

so, for my final english paper i was to write a literary analysis for a short story of my choice.  well, not really my choice since it had to be on a certain list that my instructor gave us.  anyway, i had been very busy the last little while and was really worried about finishing this paper and so i even got a short extension.  the day the paper was due arrived and i was found at my computer still pouring over the essay i had concocted out of the jumbled thoughts in my head.  i had been working on this thing through the night and was just not satisfied with what i had written.  not just the introduction or the conclusion, but the whole paper!  as the hours ticked by, i re-read my short story and poured over my "how to" book on the art of writing analysis essays.  throughout the morning i kept getting this feeling... as if someone was saying "don't worry, you'll do fine."  Obviously, being the paranoid person i am, i just ignored it.  i kept going over and over things, but nothing new came to me.  i just could not improve this paper. 

i checked the clock one final time and knew that i had to leave or face handing the paper after deadline and being penalized.  as i commuted to school i kept reading and re-reading my paper.  in my mind someone said, "stop it! there's no point in worrying about it."  i thought that i was just telling myself that i shouldn't worry because there is absolutely nothing i could do about it now.  as i handed in my paper i even warned my instructor that this essay was the absolute worst drivel i have ever written.  i mean, c'mon!  it didn't even make sense to me... and i wrote it! 

that was last thursday... fast forward to today... i just finished writing my english final exam and as i handed it in, my instructor handed back my pathetic essay.  i laughed as she handed it over and checked the mark with apprehension.  i think you know where i am going with this.  i did pretty good   good?  i actually got the best mark that i've ever gotten from this instructor   i had to read my essay over just to see what my instructor had to say and as i read i thought "hey! this actually makes sense.  it's even pretty good.  no, the mark she gave me isn't a cruel joke."  and then i remembered to thank our heavenly Father.  for it was He that helped me with this paper and allowed me to get things done (which, with the way i procrastinate is a miracle in itself ). 

stupid me.  i don't know how many times He's gonna have to teach me to trust Him before it actually sinks in.  but just to let you know that i'm trying to pay attention to Him, here's a little advice:  it's hard enough sometimes to hear Him with all the "noise" that's going on in our lives... it's even harder to hear him when you've barely slept over the past week!

even when i'm doing my best to ignore Him, He continues to try and tell me what's good for me.  thanx Dad!